Frenemy at the gates

Speedway’s history is littered with names which bring a lump to your throat, the dominant emotion usually tamped down rage rather unbridled joy.

Eastbourne Dons, London Lions, Nottingham Outlaws, Reading Bulldogs, Scottish Monarchs didn’t set the pulses racing but did rise some blood pressure to alarming levels.

Sweeping generalisation alert … Speedway fans don’t really do change and the threat of even the slightest change to the status quo raises danders which have been flaccid for many decades.

As witnessed by Monday’s apoplectic messages board, twitter meltdowns and general harrumphing of the keyboard warriors hiding behind their pathetic knob-de-plumes when the “story” about SGP switching to all-electric hit the wires.

Quite funny, relatively clever but, to anyone with half a brain cell, pretty obviously an April Fool’s tale. Still led to hundreds of pages of outrage, allegations of speedway turning woke (Wokerhampton Wolves?) and threats not to ever watch again – presumably by no longer illegally streaming via hooky Firesticks from the comfort of their settees.

There hasn’t been so much sizzling gammon since that bacon boat from Denmark caught fire in the North Sea in the 1980s.

The bland leading the blind.

All over a cute tale but blatantly a spoof – one version even carried the hashtag #Afuwl but still got a dozen posts of outrage.

Mind you one speedway streaming heavyweight needs to mix a bit more sleep with his alcohol after falling for the “Jason Crump signs up for Polish Dancing with the Stars” effort.

At one point I did toy with previewing Saturday’s BSN clash of the titans by suggesting that the Jewson Bandits were to face the Glasgow Bandits at Shielfield on Saturday night.

But it’s really not an AF candidate as four of the opposition have not only worn the famous Borders Bandits logo with huge pride and big dollops of aplomb and a fifth began his professional career as a Berwick Bullet.

Of the two who haven’t James Pearson guested rather successfully last year and until his sojourn at Poole, the good twin, aka Stevie Worrall, rattled up points here on a regular basis.

If this were a BBC-type biased-free, balance-compliant article I would be obliged to point out that Lewi Kerr, Rory Schlein and Danyon Hume are all ex-Tigers.

But it’s not.

And it doesn’t suit my purpose so I shall take a leaf from the book of FromAbroath, CornedbeefCol, CatfishLisa and WilsonPhillips by ignoring inconvenient truths for the sake of myopic carping.

Obviously our two previous captains Messrs Flint and Harris have attracted much of the pre-meeting publicity but Lee Complin was also a hugely popular Bandit before injury prematurely ended a racing career so spectacularly resurrected two years ago.

Last season he guested so many times against the Bandits and Bullets that we might as well have screwed his nameplate up in the visiting pits.

Glasgow arrive, of course, as defending league champions and last year reached the finals of the BSN Series that Saturday is all about.

Mind you we have more silverware than them in 2024 and what better way for that to continue being the case than victory on Saturday.

The Tiggs also have also had us under the pump with a Daytona firmly on our throats for quite a while now having won the last 13 meetings between the sides in all competitions, home and away.

Gulp.

But then 13 is not a lucky number is it? From Loki and Judas through to being a cheerleader in a car full of teenagers heading towards a remote town – mayor Jason Voorhees – in a forest, during a thunderstorm, as you run out of petrol, 13 has not ended well.

While I’m not convinced that Cami Brown suffers from triskaidekaphobia but history could very well be on our side here.

The last team to have a similar hex on us was Redcar. We went 12 matches without a win against the Bears (although we did pinch a draw at the Smoggy Arena amid the carnage).

That all ended last July when the Misbehaving twin (guesting for Rory) manoeuvred us towards a victory sealed in a dramatic heat 15 by one Leon Flint, once of this parish and spotted doing a bit of undercover scouting in the pits last Saturday.

No doubt he reported a side dispatching Workington with aplomb, verve and quite a bit of paint shaved off the fence with some pretty audacious overtaking manoeuvres – youngsters Borke and Hodder especially take a bow at this point.

Jye Etheridge is the only survivor from that night of Bear beating, Rory was alongside him last time the Tiggs triumphed.

In short this is a new breed of Bandits, ready to rewrite history, beginning at around 8.50 on Saturday.

You know the drill by now: tickets in advance save you two quid if bought before midnight on Friday (www.berwickspeedway.com/tickets). Save queuing at the turnstiles while those paying £20 count out their change (£18 for concessions). Add any number of under-16 at no extra cost and even bring the dog, as long as they clean up after their owners and keep them under some sort of control.