I NEVER MAKE MISTAKES……

I don’t have a flux capacitor, and as a result find it isn’t all that easy to know what’s awaiting us in the future…..

This doesn’t stop me from telling everyone and anyone who will listen what I think will happen in a given situation.

I never make mistakes when I do this, of course. I do however frequently make prophecies that turn out to be wrong…..

So what can I forecast for the coming week or so?

We’ve got three matches coming up for the FTS Bandits, each with an element of danger to our very real hope of gaining a play-off place this year.

On Saturday, we have to host Redcar Bears, in all probability without Leon or Ty.

The Bears have an excellent – and most annoying – record of recent Shielfield successes to their credit, and seem to be going great guns so far this year, as well you’d expect from a quick look at their oh-so-solid squad.

Having said that, having won each of their home matches by scoring over fifty points in each of them, should our 2022 Banditos be scared of any opposition at Shielfield?

Is it the kiss of death for me to say I’ll predict three points for the good guys on Saturday night?

Next, we are off on the road, to Plymouth and Poole.

I’ve seen us winning at Plymouth a couple of times – once was the famous night that there was a big crash, which knocked down part of the safety-fence.

Their track-staff were rushing about, pulling out the broken boards, and looking for the key to the shed they kept the spare boards in.

And thereby hangs a tale…………….

It seems the promoter (not the guy in charge now, I hasten to add) had the key in his trouser pocket – but, amid all the panic, no-one could find him!

Seeing we were in for a delay, we all decided to go to the bar for a cool drink (it was a hot summer’s night) but found it was closed!

Why?

Well, as it transpired, Mr Promoter – thinking his meeting was running along nicely – had taken the opportunity to shut himself in the bar with Miss Barmaid, to get to know her better. Much better, I understand………

Thus, while his poor track-staff were running about, trying to locate the key to the shed, the key remained safe and well in his trouser pocket. Trousers he may or may not have been actually wearing when the incident occurred!

It was all sorted out in the end. Mrs Promoter became involved, and didn’t seem best pleased. We didn’t get a drink, as the barmaid didn’t return to her post. But the Bandits won by an absolutely stonking 54-36, and that was the main thing…….

My forecast for Plymouth next week? Less off-track rumpy-pumpy, but a closer result – how’s that?

Next, on to Poole. The eternal champions. A proud club with a sad history of underestimating the bonny bouncers.

Like in 1989 – we were the only team to take points off them at Wimborne Road that year, and even better gave them a proper seeing-to in that season’s KO Cup Final.

Two years on, in the big league – Division 1 no less — we went to Poole very late in the 1991 season.

In what was our last-ever away match in the top division and with a patched-up team, we put the Pirates to the sword with a 47-43 win. Happy days!

This time around, the Pirates are still on top of the world, carrying all before them…….

Prediction? Well, I’m a cock-eyed optimist – I’m trying to find a bookie who’ll give me favourable odds on a memorable double next Wednesday – wins for both Berwick’s Banditos at Poole and Glasgow’s Rangers in Seville!

Now, if THAT double comes off, I’ll still be celebrating when Newcastle stage their next meeting!

Let’s go skidding………….

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Want to disagree with Dick (as so many do)? He is always happy to hear from interesting people on dick@crystalfm.co.uk